what to do when your friend is having a mental breakdown
What to say and what not to say to someone with a mental illness
Posted on 11/fourteen/nineteen ten:30:am

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When a friend or loved ane is dealing with a mental illness, you may exist at a loss for what to say. You lot desire to offer comfort and support but may be worried nigh how your words will be interpreted. Sue McKenzie Dicks, vice president of healthy civilisation at Rogers, shares some of the most common mistakes of what not to say, too as supportive things to say to help your loved one feel accepted and appreciated equally they navigate their mental health problems.
What to say to someone with a mental illness
1. "Do you want to talk almost information technology? I'm always hither for you."
Even if you don't entirely understand what your friend or loved one is going through, you can still be there for them in a healthy, supportive style. Listen to them without judgment and brand certain they know they're not alone. It'due south likewise important to let your loved one atomic number 82 the conversation and then you're able to talk well-nigh topics they experience comfortable discussing. "Follow and support rather than lead and propose," explains Sue.
2. "What can I do to help?"
If your loved i has had depression or anxiety for a while, chances are they probably know what does and does not help them. Even if they but need assistance with something uncomplicated like laundry or grocery shopping, offering help lets them know you care.
iii. "That sounds really hard. How are you lot coping?"
Acknowledging how they feel is both validating and comforting. It reminds your friend that you are listening to them, that you believe that what they're going through is real, and that you desire to help them cope.
4. "Let's get somewhere repose or accept a walk"
In times of extreme feet, information technology can help to endeavour a grounding activity, like going for a walk or finding a peaceful identify to talk. Grounding activities can exist done alone or with another person and may include listening to music or enjoying a soothing aroma.
5. "I'chiliad really sad you're going through this. I'm here for yous if y'all need me."
Remind them that their feelings are valid and that you want to support them.
half-dozen. "Are y'all looking for my perspective or would you rather I listen?"
Clarify which type of back up they would like and let them know that you lot will non judge them. If they want your insights, it'due south helpful to begin with something like "I don't know if this applies, but I'grand wondering about…"
What not to say to someone with a mental disease
Information technology's just as important to understand what responses may be unhelpful, or worse—damaging to someone who has opened upwardly to you. Endeavour your best to avoid the following responses:
one. "I know what you mean. I had a panic assault when I saw my electric bill!"
This endeavour at relating to what your loved ane is going through is kind-hearted, but also misguided. Relating their panic attacks to your (probably small) feet about a regular expense misses the mark considering information technology implies that those ii things are the same or of similar consequence and minimizes their pain. "Even if yous have an anxiety disorder, suggesting that they can simply practice what you did when you were anxious is stigmatizing," says Sue.
ii. "Accept you tried yoga or meditation?"
One of the about pervasive misconceptions well-nigh mental wellness is that yoga, meditation, and other health trends can cure depression and other mental wellness conditions. While these practices are certainly a helpful supplement to treatment for many people, only your friend knows if it is right for them. Sue recommends instead asking what options they see for themselves. "If the person says they experience like they have no options, yous can ask permission to share some ideas yous've heard that may make sense to them," says Sue.
iii. "Why aren't you seeing a therapist?" or "Why aren't you lot on medication?"
While it'southward fine to testify business for a friend, remarks like these can come across as accusatory. Again, if the person says they feel like they take no options, you might say, "I always hear about therapy and medication, what are your thoughts on those?" Remember that this is a determination that is ultimately theirs to make.
4. "Are you OK?!"
This question tin can brand your loved one feel pressured to get better immediately, which is rarely the case for mental wellness. They may also feel some social pressure level to tell you they're fine, even if that is not truthful.
5. "There are lots of people who accept it much worse than you."
Remarks like this encourage your loved one to compare themselves to others, which can crusade defoliation every bit to whether their struggle is valid or not. You should encourage them to permit go of comparing themselves to others and instead focus on what's best for them.
vi. "You wouldn't feel this style if…"
Mental wellness issues and their causes are complex, and many people wear themselves out emotionally by searching for the causes of their suffering. Placing blame leads to unnecessary distress and takes fourth dimension from increasing understanding of what is going on.
Acquire more virtually how to talk almost mental wellness with your loved one, for yourself or for them, here.
What to do when someone says something hurtful
For those struggling with mental health, much of what'due south been discussed volition sound familiar. You will probably take heard some of the above well-significant but unhelpful advice and felt hurt past their implications. Rather than respond with anger when someone makes a hurtful comment, Sue recommends reminding yourself "That person does not know enough for me to allow them to exist the source of my hurt." Be sure to let the advocates effectually y'all stride in to brainwash those who demand it or do it yourself if that feels right and healthy for you.
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Source: https://rogersbh.org/about-us/newsroom/blog/what-say-and-what-not-say-someone-mental-health-condition
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